Alright, so DoorDash crapped the bed on earnings. 55 cents a share versus the expected 69? Nice. Real nice. And the stock tanks 9%. You know what that sounds like? Opportunity. Or a dumpster fire. Jury's still out.
The Numbers Game: Smoke and Mirrors?
They're trying to spin this, offcourse. Revenue up 27%! Total orders increased 21%! Sounds fantastic, right? "Growth," they scream! But let's be real – growth at what cost? They're dumping "several hundred million dollars" into "new initiatives and development" in 2026. Translation: They're throwing money at the wall to see what sticks because their core business model is about as sustainable as a cardboard boat in a hurricane.
And get this: They're patting themselves on the back for a net income of $244 million, up from $162 million last year. Okay, great. But how much of that is just clever accounting and cost-cutting measures that screw over the drivers who actually do the work? I bet the delivery drivers aren't seeing those gains. They're probably still driving around in beat-up cars, hoping for a decent tip.
Here's the thing that really grinds my gears: This whole "adjusted EBITDA" nonsense. They're expecting $710 million to $810 million for Q4, but analysts were expecting more. So, they’re basically admitting they’re not going to hit the mark, and then trying to sugarcoat it with financial jargon that nobody outside of Wall Street actually understands. Seriously, who even knows what EBITDA means?
The Deliveroo Debacle and Robot Dreams
Then there's the Deliveroo acquisition, which closed on Oct. 2. $3.9 billion for a British food delivery company? Are you kidding me? They expect Deliveroo to add $45 million to adjusted EBITDA in Q4 2025 and $200 million in 2026. That's a drop in the bucket. It's like buying a yacht to bail out a sinking ship. And it's worth noting that this is adjusted EBITDA, which, as we've established, is basically a fictional number.
And oh yeah, let's not forget the Dot autonomous delivery robot they announced last September. Because that’s totally going to solve all their problems. We're supposed to believe that robots are going to revolutionize food delivery, but I'm pretty sure most people would rather have a human being bring them their tacos than a clunky metal box. It's giving me serious "Jetsons" vibes, and not in a good way.
But wait, are we really supposed to believe these robots will be able to navigate city streets filled with traffic, pedestrians, and those guys on electric scooters who think traffic laws don't apply to them?
They're building a "new global tech platform," with progress slated to accelerate in 2026. This is code for "we have no idea what we're doing, but we're going to spend a ton of money trying to figure it out." It’s like watching a toddler play with a loaded weapon. The potential for disaster is enormous.
They expect a depreciation and amortization expense of $700 million for fiscal year 2025 and a stock-based compensation expense of $1.1 billion. So, basically, they're admitting they're burning through cash like a dragon with indigestion. Gotta keep those executives happy, I guess.
Is DoorDash Officially Screwed?
Look, maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe DoorDash will pull a rabbit out of its hat and become the next Amazon. Maybe those robots will revolutionize food delivery. Maybe Deliveroo will actually be a worthwhile investment. But let's be real: The numbers don't lie. Doordash stock sinks 9% as company misses earnings, says it expects further spending - CNBC They missed expectations, they're spending money like drunken sailors, and they're relying on pie-in-the-sky projects to save their bacon. It's a recipe for disaster. I feel like I'm watching the Hindenburg all over again... only this time, it's delivering pad thai.
So, What's the Real Story?
DoorDash is trying to convince us that everything is fine. They're telling us about growth and innovation and adjusted EBITDA. But the truth is, they're flailing. They're throwing money at problems instead of addressing the fundamental flaws in their business model. And honestly, I don't see things getting better anytime soon.
Tags: doordash stock