Alright, let's get this straight. I just spent the last hour wading through Amazon's updated cookie policy – or, as I like to call it, the digital equivalent of a toddler projectile vomiting alphabet soup. Seriously, who can decipher this crap?
The Cookie Monster's Revenge
"Strictly Necessary Cookies," "Personalization Cookies," "Ad Selection and Delivery Cookies"... Give me a break. It sounds like a menu at some dystopian data-harvesting cafe. The whole thing is designed to be so convoluted that you just click "Accept All" and move on with your life. Which, offcourse, is exactly what they want.
And the worst part? They act like they're doing us a favor! "This Notice provides more information about these technologies, your choices..." Oh, really? You're giving me choices? It feels more like being presented with a platter of slightly different flavors of surveillance.
Here's a question: If these cookies are so damn "necessary," why do I have to click through a gauntlet of pop-ups every time I visit a new site? And why does every single website have a slightly different, equally incomprehensible, version of this garbage?
Analyst Schm-analyst: Who's Buying This?
Then you got these so-called "analysts" patting Amazon on the back. I saw something about some TipRanks All-Star analyst, Rob Sanderson, who's apparently the "best" on Amazon stock. 85% success rate, 29.70% average return... Who cares? Does this guy even use the internet, or is he just crunching numbers in some ivory tower while the rest of us are drowning in targeted ads and privacy violations? You can read more about his analyst rating in TipRanks’ All-Star Analyst – Who Is the Best on Amazon Stock (AMZN)?.
I mean, good for him, I guess. But let's be real: these analysts are paid to be optimistic. They're incentivized to spin everything in a positive light. They expect us to believe this nonsense, and honestly...
And it's not just Amazon. Every tech company is doing this. Google, Facebook, Twitter... they're all complicit in this data-grab arms race. They build these elaborate tracking systems, then pretend they're just "improving user experience."
Speaking of Twitter, remember when that dumpster fire was bought by Elon? Good times, good times...not.
The Illusion of Control
The "Cookie Management" section is particularly insulting. "Depending on where you live, you may be able to adjust your Cookie preferences..." Oh, may be able to? Thanks for the permission slip.
And then they list a bunch of opt-out links to various advertising providers. As if I have the time to click through a dozen different privacy policies and manually disable tracking on every single site I visit. It's a full-time job!
And even if you do manage to jump through all the hoops, they still track you for "research, online services analytics or internal operations." So, basically, you can opt out of targeted ads, but you can't opt out of being a lab rat.
Wait, are we really supposed to believe these opt-out links even work? Or are they just another form of performative privacy, designed to make us feel like we have control when we really don't? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here.
Can We Just Burn It All Down?
The whole thing is so depressing. The internet was supposed to be this liberating, democratizing force. Instead, it's become a giant surveillance machine, fueled by cookies and driven by greed.
I'm starting to think the only solution is to nuke the whole damn thing and start over. Build a new internet from scratch, one that's actually designed to protect our privacy and empower users. Is that even possible? Probably not. But a guy can dream, right?
A Glitch in the Matrix
Tags: amzn